Without the unhealthy power struggles?
About T.O.M.
T.O.M. is a kid’s sized yoga mat specifically designed to end the wars.
The Problem
When Time Outs are attempted without consistency and structure, Time Outs can become a hot frustrating mess for everyone and most grown-ups give up on the process.
The Solution
Stick to T.O.M.’s Rules (Found on the back of the mat). Avoid the messy power struggles by simply repeating T.O.M.’s peaceful mantra of, “Your time will start when you are quiet and under control”.
T.O.M.s Work!
Kids that truly feel better behave better.
— Alyssa Label, Child & Family Therapist
Why T.O.M. Works
T.O.M. is everything we need in one portable piece = T.O.M. comes with built in consistency, so we don’t have to come up with it when our emotions are high. Just stick with T.O.M.’s Rules all of the time and every time.
Use our T.O.M.s every chance we get!
The More constantly we use them, the better they work.
T.O.M.’s Rules are not Mom or Dad’s rules = There is no room or need for negotiations.
Our kids can choose to sit, lay, stand, squat, yoga pose, etc. on their T.O.M. until their time is complete = As long as they are following the 5 basic T.O.M.’s Rules.
From our shining stars to our trouble makers and even our Repeat Offenders – ONE TOM fits ALL behavioral journeys = ALL kids thrive when they know the rules and the game is played the same way every time.
T.O.M. allows us to work smarter not harder with our kids = More enjoyable time.
T.O.M. is a game changer for parents who enjoy a peaceful home
— Dr. John Smith, Child Psychologist
Thoughts behind the creation of T.O.M.
Nobody ever said parenting was easy. The Time Out Mat was created to makes it easier and healthier.
Punishment and shame have been overrated tools in child discipline for too long. Fear of punishment and shame might get the job done in the moment. The problem is, those same fears bleed over into the rest of our minds and our souls. Those feelings produce our thoughts and lead to our actions for the rest of our lives.
* The good news is that the same can be said for real self-confidence and self-control.
Time Outs are not new. The concept for the T.O.M. and the behavioral tools it provides has grown out of a twenty-year career of working with kids in Group Homes, Behavioral Health Programs and Foster Care Placements.
Time Outs used appropriately are an exercise of self-control and management of mad, sad and scared feelings.
T.O.M.s help our children train their minds to manage and control their mad, sad and scared feelings, rather than letting those uncomfortable feelings control them.
T.O.M. utilizes the calming philosophies of yoga by teaching kids how to manage their feelings and behaviors through breathing and controlling their bodies.
Use T.O.M. every time, all of the time and every day. Don’t hesitate to repeat. Remember: You’re teaching not punishing. There is a big difference
— Jamie Thomas, Creator of T.O.M.
About Us
My name is Jamie Thomas and I am a Pediatric Behavioral Health Educator for Vista Hill Foundation in San Diego, California. I have worked directly with children in mental health hospitals, group homes and in our home for more than twenty years. My wife and I have cared for six very different children, one at a time, from the county foster care system. We are adoptive parents of two amazing siblings from that system. I have a Master’s Degree in Human Services specializing in Family Studies & Intervention Strategies.
Over the years, I have been involved with thousands of Time Outs with a wide variety of children and behaviors. The behaviors I have worked with have been all over the spectrum – from the calm and compliant ones to the raging and out of control types. T.O.M.s can be very effective for all of the above. I only wish I had a simple and effective tool like a T.O.M. years ago.
I created the T.O.M. to allow us to work smarter, not harder, when helping our children manage their behaviors and emotions, while keeping or own sanity. I recently had an awesome Mom tell me, “The T.O.M.’s Rules are great because they’re not Mommy’s Rules, they are T.O.M.’s Rules and that has power with my kids.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. When the rules, boundaries and time have already been determined, there is no need for any power struggles while emotions are raw.
When we stick to the 5 simple rules consistently and appropriately process (*Rule #5) after the time is done and feelings are under control, the whole experience becomes a positive learning practice rather than an ugly and ineffective power struggle.
We are all in this together and T.O.M. is her to help.
Sincerely,
Jamie
*T.O.M.s Rule #5 –We will talk about what just happened, hug and MOVE ON!
Foster Care 2.0
Foster Care 2.0 is the revolutionary rescue mission that will forever change the worlds in which our abused children live.
T.O.M. is proud to be the exclusive financial supporter of the Foster Care 2.0 movement. 50% of all our proceeds go directly to Foster Care 2.0.
Get In Touch
Email: jamie@mytimeoutmat.com